The members of the IamTan.com forum have made tanning into a science. They talk about lotions, tanning beds and SPF like brain surgeons talk about their next challenge. Here are some of the responses they get from their pale friends, customers and colleagues as their skin get darker and darker:

The good
"Were you on vacation? you look real dark"

"Wow you tan easily!"

"Where did you go on vaction?"

"You look so healthy!"

"You must play alot of golf."

The bad
Getting so tan that your skin gets the same color as your birth mark: "Hey, didn't you have a birth mark on the back of your leg? Where did it go?"

"You need to wash that dirt off your skin."

"You look like a black
person, you are too tan".

"If you get ANY DARKER you will be part of another race"...

The ugly
"I have a bank customer, an older guy, who's always been very nice......he says to me the other day, "Mira....everytime I come in here you seem to get darker and darker, what are you doing?" I explained to him that the day before I had laid outside for two hours.....and in his creepiest perverted old guy way he says...."In your back yard? Do you wear a bikini??" And then he leans in really close and says "do you have tan lines?"

I was completely grossed out. It looked like he was SLOBBERING!!!!!!! I had no response as he was leaning closer over the counter and I was backing away....he says....."I bet they're reeeeaaaallllllll nice" EWWWWWWWWWWWWW, GROSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! I swear he walked out covering the front of his pants with his banking info. So completely gross!!!!!!"

Source: IamTan.com forums: Things people SAY when you have an OUTRAGEOUS TAN