I worked in various bars and nightclubs in Magaluf and Ibiza from 1995 till' 2000. Here's some advice on "getting lucky" with the females so you can avoid the dog.

1. Treat rejections like a friend. Fear of rejection ruins it all for many men. From my time as a bartender in Magaluf I became painfully aware of the fact that the men who went home to their hotels with a woman were the same men that got laughed at, ridiculed and sometimes slapped in the face by other females they approached.

2. It's a numbers game. Many think there is no point starting to approach girls because only 1 in 100 would want to go all the way with you. Trust me, at 4 AM in the morning in a sweaty foam party those odds are rapidly improving. Go try your moves on 20 girls and if you do not get a 5% success rate hit me up and I'll buy you a beer.

3. In a sweaty nightclub is not about the art of conversation. It is about eyes meeting eyes, an ass cheek bumping towards another ass cheek. It's the language of the dance floor. Go out there, smile, laugh, wink and bump your way into the girls.

4. When the initial point of contact is made and you have been dancing at the same spot, with the same girl for more than a few minutes is time to finish her off. Too many times I have seen an eager boy starting to feel his girl up and down. She thinks that is too much of a good thing too early and gets repulsed. He fails. Instead: Touch her gently here and there to tease her and to advertise for what is going to happen next IF she decides to bring you along to her hotel, but do not start to grab her boobs and other private parts. 90% of girls dislike doing that on the dance floor. Save it for later.

5. Lower your standards. Do not aim for French Champagne girls. Sometimes a cheap Hungarian dry white can be just the thing you need. Pick up the wallflowers, they can give you a beautiful time.

If everything else fails: Buy some peanut butter and borrow a dog.