What do you need to know before you put on your shiny new micro bikini?
Ah... Wicked Weasel.. this wonderful Australian bikini company who started the micro bikini category a few years ago. We men have so much to thank them for! But wait a minute, if you happen to be a woman and want to stand out at the beach, don't order that sizzling little bikini yet, read my tips first:
Go away fatties.
I have a beer belly which makes it impossible for me to wear a Speedo or anything else tight fitting to the beach because I will end up looking ridiculous. If you are a fat woman, a micro bikini will have the same effect. You will look like dog poop. Better get that Anne Cole bathing suit instead.
Pale skin is a sin
A tiny bikini show off all your flesh. Razor burns, spots, bruises whatever. If you are tanned these malfunctions will not be as visible. Also: Tan is sexier than pale.
Wear it with pride
So you are wearing the sexiest and most high profile outfit on the beach? What do you do? Try to hide? No, you can't wear a micro bikini and go around feeling uncomfortable. Walk with pride and enjoy all the men's eyeballs on your body.