When bathing suit season rolls around, some of us really dread it. By the looks of some of the bikinis available for purchase, maybe we all should dread it.
If you have small children in the room, ask them to leave, or if you have a pacemaker, use extreme caution, before you visit these bikini sites. It’s really amazing to think that you will find people who actually wear these suits in public.
1.) No strings bikini
Topping our list of ridiculous and extreme bikinis is the ‘no strings bikini’. This is the type of bikini that you "plaster" on yourself.
I can’t imagine where this could be safely worn except for the few nude beaches that are around or in the back yard for sunning.
The bikini stays on by sticking to the skin, so water is definitely out and it barely hides the ‘essentials’ with absolutely no back pieces.
So, if you want to take your privacy to the limit you can find the no string bikini at the-bikini.com for about $9 per triangle or $18 for three.
2.) Malibu Strings ‘open net’ bikini
This particular company sports an ‘explicit material warning’ at the first page of their site for good reason. When your bikini is made of fishnet you better warn your customers first!
For this particular bikini one wonders what the point is in even wearing it. Everything you have will be completely on display. If you want to be nude while wearing something this bikini will fill that need.
The Malibu Strings ‘open net’ bikini can be purchased for about $29 per piece and can be found at malibustrings.com.
3.) Teardrop Microsling by Coleen Kelly
This designer goes from regular skimpy bikinis to the ultra small, hide almost nothing teardrop microsling bikini. The teardrop bikinis are made to just cover the bare essentials with the designated "drops."
This particular bikini comes in patent leather or jungle print. The patches that make up the suit are connected by spaghetti straps and beads.
Sporting the design at the site is a very fit, Paris Hilton look alike, showing you just what type of body you need if you dare to wear this so called ‘swimwear’. I say ‘so called’ because there is no way to ‘swim’ in it.
The Teardrop Microsling will cost you $76 and is found at sexyswimwear.com.
4.) N2N ‘eros g’ for men
In color choices of orange, green or yellow this is the ultimate in clingy, see thru and tiny swimwear for men. It's like a sexier Speedo, so beware!
The size choices range from small to large and one wonders what exactly they are measuring.
The ‘eros g’ bikini for men costs $18, has a shipping weight of 0.0 pounds (no wonder) and can be found at n2nbodywear.com.
5.) Candy Bikini from Dirty Bird
Last but certainly not least on our list is the candy bikini. Of course, it’s ridiculous and extreme if you’re really going to try to wear it to the beach or pool because you’d end up a melted mess. A candy bikini consists of candies that are sticked together.
However this bikini could actually be great fun for private time with your significant other.
It’s made out of rows of brightly colored hard candy and is one size fits all.
Find the candy bikini at dirtybirdbikini.com for $10 each for top and bottom and have some fun!
Who should wear this sort of bikinis?
Unless you are totally outgoing, not easily embarrassed, don’t mind people gasping and visit beaches that are lenient, these suits are not for you (except the last… anyone can have fun with it).
Certainly you will wear these bikinis at your own risk, because frankly there's not a lot keeping them on. I can’t imagine even the people who are modeling the suits would wear them in public.
However you may be bolder than I.