When booking a hotel through LastMinute or Expedia it is easy to get your hopes up only to be disappointed when you check in to the hotel. Here´s a few things I have learned during my travels.

1. 1 km from city centre
Any distance given by the hotel needs to be multiplied by 2.

2. Hotel recently renovated
Means that they have got a shiny new marble hotel lobby, while the rooms still are tiny with dirty rugs on the floor.

3. Rooms renovated in 2006
Last year we renovated 90% of our rooms. Our strategy for the old unrenovated rooms is that fill them by offering them dirt cheap on online booking sites like hotels.com and expedia.com. You, Sir, got one of these rooms.

4. Onsite Pool
There is a 4x10 metres unheated pool in the hotel´s backyard. It is closed all year except for a few very hot weeks in the summer.

5. Gymnasium
There is one excersise bike and a few dumbbells in a small room in the basement.

6. Room service
Between 7AM and 10AM and between 18PM and 20PM we can bring food to your room. Sorry if you want to eat outside these times.

7. WIFI
For $10 an hour or $20 a day you can get the pleasure of buying WIFI access from a 3rd party supplying the hotel with these services. If it does not work, we do not care or know how to fix it.

8. Nearby features like Tennis or Golf
Yes, there is a Tennis club 2 km down the road. No, we do not have any arrangements with them. Nor can we assist you in ordering an hour of court time.

9. Free minibar
The minibar is free, Sir. It contains a 20 cl. bottle of Coca Cola, one bottle of local beer and a 25 cl. bottle of water.