10 reasons for not dating fat men – deconstructed

Elaine is a woman who dislikes obese men. But the reasoning behind her opinions seems to be lacking according to Matthew W. who has deconstructed her 10 reasons for not dating fatties:

This is quite possibly the most pathetic thing I’ve read in my whole life. It’s quite obvious that the author has an I.Q. below 80. The amount of logical fallacies and claims that are groundless in this set of ten reasons is obese at best.. no pun intended.

Time to destroy your pathetic sense of understanding and how the world really works. I’ll break it down by each reason.

Reason 1: “If I am with a fat guy and he’s the type who eats every chance he gets, what am I suppose to do? Watch him eat? That’s so pathetic.”

This is circumstancial and limited at best. Though you were careful in your wording by not suggesting here that all fat men eat every chance they get.. you actually get some points for being somewhat reasonable here. Though not all thin people refrain from eating every, “chance” they get either.

Plenty of thin people also eat whatever they feel like, when they feel like it. Not all, that would be a hasty generalization, but I know plenty of thin people that eat plenty of unhealthy foods. It’s not just fat men who do so, as a high metabolism can keep a person thin that is also very lazy, yet it does not show. “I mean, I may be tempted to join him especially if he’s munching on my favorite desert and that would really ruin my diet. I would rather be with a health buff who knows how to watch his calories.” So if a thin person was eating your favorite desert you wouldn’t be tempted? <-- Sure this is a straw man argument, but case in point, you cannot suggest that a fat man only eats your favorite desert.

Also it is your lack of self-control, and your choice to eat your favorite desert if someone else is as well. You can still decline, and resist temptation, there is no excuse.. and neither is a fat man an acceptable scapegoat to your own failure to resist eating poorly.. that in and of itself is your sole responsibility, and no one elses. This claim as a whole is also a biased sample at best, and thus illogical, because there are too many variables to suggest that fat men over eat, or eat every chance they get. Support your claim with evidence, or reasonable thinking, otherwise you must thus concede this point.

Reason 2: ” I can’t imagine having sex with a fat dude! A fat dude naked in front of me? Sorry, if it’s cold and heartless of me, but it’s not a nice sight. Plus what positions can we do with his fat ass? I’m the type of girl who’d rather keep the lights on to see the masculine aura of my guy. A muscle is hot, fat is not!

Actually there are a lot of things I would like to point out in this section. A fat guy would easily be out of breath. I wonder if he has the energy to keep up with me. Athletic guys have the stamina when it comes to intimacy in between the sheets but a fat man will doze to sleep, snoring loud after the first round. That’s actually based on experience and some common sense. Come on ladies, agree with me.” Biased Sample, Composition, Division, (though this fallacy could be argued wrong within contect) Hasty Generalization, Questionable Cause, and Special Pleading.. honestly this entire point is just a bag of fallacious claims, and there is really no need to refute it directly, because it defeats itself.

Reason 3: “3. Being fat may possible be a reflection of his inner mess

Okay, not-the-typical-me, but let’s get intellectual here. In a psychological point of view, some people tend to overeat as a way to divert themselves from their frustrations. They turn to compulsive over-eating which makes them obese. They don’t overeat just because the food is sumptuous but there’s something deeper than that. Honestly, I don’t want to date a guy who has a lot of psychological troubles.”

All I have to say is prove it, support your claims with evidence here. You’re not getting intellectual because you’re suggesting, “some people” which is a limited sample, and does not speak for the whole of all people.. and besides that, “some people” could thus be classified as not only overweight people, but other people with contributing factors that lead to over eating. Not all people who over eat are obese, and not all obese people over eat, your argument fails. Prove that all overweight people have psychological trouble, then your claim would be valid, otherwise concede your point. Put up, or shut up honestly.

Point 4: “4. The physical attribute of a person shows how disciplined he is Again, intellectually speaking (duh!), an obese body is just a reflection of their lack of self-control. We all can look trim and sexy if we want to and the crucial part is, if we exert effort. But what do these so-called-big guys do? They choose to eat and be a loser. Okay you may have naturally good-looking genes, so why let it go to waste? Hit the gym before you ask me out!”

Incorrect, discipline can be applied to various areas of one’s life, and such is not only applicable to body weight control. Neither does a person being overweight suggest a lack of self-control, because not all obese people over eat, again prove it. Provide evidence to support this claim, or concede. Thin people can also lack self-control and over eat, yet never gain weight.. and as such, they may experience many psychological problems as well. Psychological problems are not conditioned for overweight people only, as such is not selective due to body size. Argument failure yet again.

Point 5: “5. I don’t want to be asked this question: “What did you see in that fat bf of yours?” To some extent we all consider the looks, right? I’m not a fat loser, I’m gorgeous and I can prove that. If I date a fat guy, I would expect that I would be bombarded with a lot of questions why I am dating him. The last thing I want is to defend my choice to every individual out there. So I see to it, that I am proud of my taste when it comes to guys. Please, don’t be a plastic, I know you’d be more proud if the guy towering beside you have six-pack abs than a flabby stomach.”

This is your own insecurity at work, no one elses. Your own fear, and lack of ability to actually love and appreciate people fully as well. Being fat does not make one a loser, this just screams as a Biased Sample and a Hasty Generalization again. There is no logic behind this claim, it is groundless.

Point 6: “6. I don’t want to get attention for the wrong uncool reasons This may be related to the reason I just stated above. A big fat guy is so “visible” wherever we go. Those very honest kids at the groceries may be pointing at us asking their mom’s why he is such a fat guy. Well, you know, kids ask a lot of why’s. If you are at a party, an athletic guy is a hotter accessory than a fat guy. I may look classy and sophisticated, but it may ruin my chances of being the star of the night because of my preference.”

That’s life sweetie, because people will give you attention for all the wrong uncool reasons, like it or not. Regardless of who you date, be it a guy in great shape, or an overw
eight guy. And the example of kids is rather whimsical at best, because if you care about the opinions of children, then it makes me wonder how you even walk outside without being so self-conscience. Live a little, and stop being concerned with what everyone else thinks.

Point 7: “7. Because it’s a small world If he’s too big, he may take up all the space in bed. I may not even feel comfortable with him in the car (just in case we have a small one). We may not fit together if we enter the door at the same time. The shower may feel too crowded, considering that it’s just the two of us. I told you, it’s a small world (lol).”

This is just sad… fail, so much fail..

Point 8: “8. In case of emergency, a fat guy can’t run fast Well, I am just trying to be hilarious but it’s true. What I would really like to emphasize here is that, I am the outdoor type who digs fun activities and sports. Since he’s fat, I think it’s reasonable for me to assume that he’d rather watch it than engage in the real action. How can I convince him to go hiking, swimming, or skiing with me when he’s a certified couch potato? Maybe I won’t really invite him, he won’t look good in those fitted sportswear anyway. What an eyesore!”

It is not reasonable to assume anything, because you draw a Hasty Generalization from assuming. You must experience each individual for what they enjoy doing as an activity or not. Being overweight does not suggest a lack of physical activity, and neither does being skinny suggest an increase in physical activity in and of itself such determinations are a Questionable Cause type argument.

Point 9: “9. His fart may really stink! I know what I said is gross, so I’ll keep it sweet and short. He’s fat, eats anything he fancies and does not even exercise. So what do you expect? A really stinky fart will destroy the romance when he accidentally release the gas in the bedroom. It’s not even funny!”

I can’t even take you seriously anymore.. wait, I never could, and this just helps support that even more.

Point 10: “10. Last but not the least, because I am shallow (I bet that’s what you’re thinking) I am not afraid to admit to myself and to people here that I care about what the society thinks about me. Again, all things being equal (except for the weight, of course), would you choose a fat guy over an athletic guy? Don’t get me wrong, I do have a big heart. Maybe if he really loves me, he’d go to the gym and remove his excess baggage. I guess a better reason for him to do this is if he really loves himself. Enough said.”

Sounds like you will live a very unhappy and lonely life due to your standards and lack of ability to love people fully. Your arguments are poor at best, and lack any support in being reasonable. Get over yourself as well.



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  • That one nerd
    25 Jun 2011 | Permalink | Reply

    I just dropped off a similar, albeit much clumsier (half the time I was using straight-up ad hominem) and less in-depth counterattack in the original post’s comment section. Then I saw the rebuttal was ‘waiting to be approved by an administrator’ and decided it had a zero-percent chance of getting cleared. And then, while I was scrolling back up, I spied the link to this beautiful post. I just wanted to say, “Keep fighting the good fight, and put those stuck-up young women with over-inflated egos back in their place.” If the respect of a scrawny 16-year old ginger kid means anything to you, know that you have it. =]

  • Alegria
    28 Jul 2011 | Permalink | Reply

    You didn’t really dispute anything she wrote. You kept asking for facts and proof yet provide none that say the contrary.

    For #1:

    There is proof that having fat friends can make you fat. And that’s only considering the fact that you’re with them for a limited amount of time. I can only imagine being with a fat partner is just as bad if not worse.

    proof: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/25/health/25iht-fat.4.6830240.html?pagewanted=1

    Yes, plenty of thin people eat terribly as well, but it’s not evident with them. It is evident with overweight people. Unless there is some sort of underlying medical condition, you don’t get fat from eating correctly.


    Fat guys carry more weight than their bodies need to sustain themselves so it is completely logical that they’ll tire faster from any activity. I don’t see how her point refutes itself in any way.


    Anyone can have emotional issues, you’re right. She was saying some people tend to deal with them by overeating. She doesn’t want a fat guy that does that. She probably doesn’t want anyone who does that.


    Again you’re correct that discipline can be focused in different ways. However, overeating is a clear sign of a lack of discipline in a certain domain. A domain that is important to her as she actively attempts to be healthy by eating right and working out.


    It’s kind of shallow of her but who are we to judge? She likes what she likes. Can’t blame her for that.


    I like showering with my girlfriend, if either of us were too big this would be another pleasure we wouldn’t get to share. Small beds would also be a problem. Maintaining a healthy size is not that difficult so why abandon these simple pleasures for more food?


    She likes to be active. That’s it. Like I said earlier, a fat guy has to carry around much more weight than he has to and it’s more likely he’ll tire faster than someone with the same amount of muscle. I prefer someone who can keep up too, wouldn’t you?


    I’ve nothing to say for those.

    I don’t see how you can conclude she is unhappy and lonely or how she lacks the ability to love people. It seems like she has great self esteem if she is aiming for someone with the same interests as her as opposed to someone that has given up and goes for whoever is available.

    Remember, there is no need to be rude to someone else for providing their opinion.

  • DanielR
    12 Aug 2011 | Permalink | Reply

    “because not all obese people over eat, again prove it. Provide evidence to support this claim, or concede”

    99,9% of fat people over eat.
    the genetic cases are really rare (speaking numbers), in the vast majority of cases is just overindulgence and lack if will.
    there thousands of medical studies available on the internet.

  • Just read it
    21 Aug 2011 | Permalink | Reply

    Glad I read the first article by Elaine before I found this one. Both articles have radical OPINIONS on both sides of the picture and should be taken for entertainment purposes only and not to heart. :)

  • wantabefat
    2 Sep 2011 | Permalink | Reply

    actually your point is invalid, i was skinny (and am now fat through choice ) but i have loads of fat friends, all of whom eat the recomended amount of food and nothing else, most of them go to the gym 5 nights a week and work out harder than a majority of the athletic/muscled people but due to the way there body is (and always has been) they cant get skinny

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